Chaos Reigns or: Evaluating the 2010 Offseason

What a weird and wacky offseason! Weird and wacky I say!

Recapping everything that's happened would be as monotonous an exercise as recounting every malapropism ever spoken by our previous President, so let's just stick to the most important events of the last few weeks:

LeBron and Bosh Head South

It's hard to even fathom at this juncture. Not only does Miami have two of the three best players in the league on its roster, it also has another top-20 player who doubles as one of the best big men in the game. Add a deadly sharpshooter (Mike Miller, who shot 48% from beyond the arc last season), competent role players (Haslem, Ilgauskas, Chalmers, Joel Anthony, James Jones, and possibly Carlos Arroyo and Juwan Howard), and a decent head coach (with Pat Riley waiting in the wings if things go awry), and we easily have the makings of a 65+-win team (barring injury or a tactical nuclear strike on the state of Florida).

What's even more disconcerting is the fact that the Heat were a 47-win team last season without LeBron, Bosh, and Miller. I think we can safely assume that LeBron is an astronomical upgrade over Quentin Richardson, and Bosh a titanic improvement over Michael Beasley (strangely enough, I think Miami will miss Jermaine O'Neal and Dorell Wright slightly-repeat: slightly).

"The Decision"

As ill-conceived a P.R. move as we'll ever see in this day and age, so incomprehensibly idiotic that it defies any and all logic, even in the world of professional sports. While the subsequent wailing and gnashing of teeth among journalists and fans has been a bit much, it's certainly hard to defend the hour-long ego-fest which LeBron and his handlers had undoubtedly been planning for months. Then again, at least we'll  have something from this offseason to look back at and laugh about in the years to come (well, unless you're a Cavs fan, in which case I offer my deepest sympathies).

Chicago is Utah!

While the Bulls struck out on the Big Three of this year's free-agent class, the additions of three erstwhile members of the Utah Jazz (Carlos Boozer, Kyle Korver, and Ronnie Brewer) were more than adequate consolation prizes. With Noah, Boozer, and Deng up front, Chicago has arguably one of the best front-lines in the East, and the backcourt tandem of Rose and either Brewer or Korver is nothing to scoff at either; although presently I'd be hard-pressed to rank them ahead of Miami, Orlando, or Boston, any improvements made to the bench (though a group consisting of Taj Gibson, Korver/Brewer, Omer Asik, and James Johnson isn't necessarily terrible) in the coming weeks and months could be enough to propel the team into the top three of the conference (most likely at Boston's expense).

Joe Johnson Re-Signs with the Hawks

You would think by now that the achievements of R.C. Buford (San Antonio), Sam Presti (Oklahoma City), Kevin Pritchard (recently and unjustly ousted from Portland), Daryl Morey (Houston), Kevin O'Connor (Utah), and other savvy G.M.'s would have led to a league-wide embrace of a new paradigm entailing a bolder and more nuanced approach to team-building, as well as a keener appropriation of resources and money by both G.M.'s and owners. Of course, these principles have all but been unheeded, as can be evinced in the Hawks' soon-to-be-indefensible resigning of Joe Johnson for six years and $120 million (!).

Look, Joe Johnson is a fine player (though by no means a superstar) and it's more than reasonable to suggest that Atlanta had no other choice but to resign its only true star; however, one can't help thinking that by taking the road less traveled (i.e. letting Johnson go or moving him for other assets in a sign-and-trade), Hawks' management could have positioned the franchise nicely for the next 5-10 years. Instead, Atlanta's stuck with a team that's no better than fifth or sixth in the East (depending on how you feel about Milwaukee), with really no chance to improve outside of trading a core player or getting lucky with a mediocre draft pick.

David Kahn: Madman? Or Genius???

Quickly becoming the laughing-stock of the NBA, David Kahn has proven himself to be of the utmost value when it comes to comedic relief. We have to thank God that there's still a G.M. dumb and incompetent enough to not only give Darko Milicic another chance, but also to pair him with Michael Beasley (apparently in an effort to create an All-Dissapointment team) and grossly over-pay for a second-round draft pick (Nikola Pekovic: 3 years for $13 million). To top this all off, Kahn traded one of the better low-post players in the league (Al Jefferson) to Utah for basically nothing (the legendary Kostas Koufos and two useless draft picks), and signed yet another point guard (Luke Ridnour), despite the fact that the Wolves already have Jonny Flynn, Ramon Sessions, and Ricky Rubio (who is undoubtedly very eager to come to the States and play for the basketball-equivalent of Captain Ahab).

Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Kahn traded Kevin Love for a sack of potatoes and signed Daunte Culpepper to a five year-$100 million deal.

The Return of Ubuntu

A month ago, I thought the Celtics were done. Finished. Caput. I thought, like many others did, that age had finally caught up with the Big Three; that whatever chemistry issues were plaguing the team over the last couple of seasons had finally come to destroy the unity which had propelled the franchise to its 17th championship in 2008; that Cleveland and Orlando had stockpiled enough talent to maintain a stranglehold on the East for not only this season, but also for the forseeable future as well. In short, I thought that (to use an already overused cliche) the championship window was firmly shut, and that the next few seasons would prove painful as the team's stars aged and the young players (including Rajon Rondo) would prove unable to carry a team by themselves

Man, was I wrong. Perhaps it was foolish to write off a team which, over the last two seasons, had proven time and again that it was capable of performing at the highest level when required, regardless of the circumstances. In fact, I could, at this juncture, copy and paste the entirety of Rudy Tomjanovich's "heart of a champion" speech into this space, and go on and on about the grit and resolve of this particular squad, and observe how Ragin' Rajon Rondo has entered the "best point guard in the league" debate as a result of his dazzling play during this postseason. I could, in other words, list all the reasons why we shouldn't be surprised with the Celtics right about now, and thus bore my non-existent audience with things they are undoubtedly already aware of.

And yet, I can't but help feel that this doubt was justified for much (if not all) of this particular season. While the decision to "pick their spots" and not go full-bore during the dog-days of winter ultimately payed off, the lethargy which accompanied many of the Celtics' performances left many (including myself) with a bitter taste in their mouth; this was especially true when these lackluster performances were contrasted with the efforts of the two seasons prior. The teams of 2008 and 2009 were memorable and likable because of the fire they brought to virtually each game, especially on the defensive end; it was as if every contest was a test of their pride and will, whether they were playing the Nets on some random night in February or the Lakers in the Finals.

The beginning of this season was no indication of a shift in attitude or effort, and the Celtics were, with their victory over the Magic on Christmas Day, possessors of a 23-5 record, which in and of itself left one with the hope that they were capable of winning another title. Then, as a result of a variety of injuries and the onset of Sheeditis (a horrible, horrible disease which strickens its victims with extreme laziness and apathy), they began to slip and struggle for much of the rest of the regular season. Their hearts and minds appeared to be elsewhere, their efforts marked by a distinct lack of interest; again, this disinterest in the vagaries of the season ultimately paid off, and now they find themselves in a position to exact vengeance on the Magic for last year's loss in the Semifinals and advance to their second Finals appearance in the last three years. It's too bad that it took them until the middle of April to show us that they were still capable of that.

Note: if this report proves to be true, then this Celtics victory may (as Bill Simmons pointed out earlier today in his podcast with Sean Grande and Brian Windhorst) have just irrecovably altered the future of the NBA. While the speculation regarding LeBron and his impending free agency has been a feature of league-talk for the last two seasons or so, most of the chatter has been concerned with the possibility of James signing with the Knicks (obviously); if he were to sign with the Bulls, that would not only portend terrible things for New York, but also for the Eastern Conference as a whole.

Let me illustrate this point with simple mathematics:

LeBron James + Derrick Rose + Joakim Noah + competent supporting cast = dynasty